My pains didn't win.

I walked into a lighted room but I couldn't see,
darkness flooded my soul.

I've always thought I was strong and could handle any and everything.

As tears ran down my lean and malnourished face I realized I've been fooling myself, truth is, I've always been a weak, helpless and burdened being. Let's just say I'm a pro at faking it.

This was just too heavy for me to carry and guess what, what?! More was coming and I wasn't prepared for it.

In this same room I fell down, that was the lowest I could go, my pains had won but not just yet. But would they eventually?

So I took prayer position, but I couldn't utter a word, just mutterings and sighs and groans and hives and musings and one so deafening shout, only it was in my head, I'm surprised it didn't burst.

Since I was helpless all I needed was a helper.

Since I was comfortless all that would fit now was a comforter.

Since I lacked words to find expression, most urgently, I needed a teacher.

Since I was broke and broken all I craved were soothing words from a lover.

Since nobody could ever be all that I needed, Holy Spirit, you are all that I needed, I need and would ever need.

#Godmade.